Measurement

Last week was so emotional for me. Every day there seemed to be a road block. I purposely did not blog because I didn't want some heavy self pity book laid open, so I skipped a few days to save you and myself the time. :-)  Though, many good things came from last week and I will share them, just not all at once, each road block proved to remind me what this process is all about and what it really requires.

I have been 100% clean for three weeks now and am really feeling so great. I lost an initial five pounds and would like to drop six or seven more which will get me to my lowest number since eating clean. Though, as I have mentioned before the number on the scale really means nothing...it is simply another measurement for me. I see my best results in the measuring tape. I have literally been 171lbs in size 8's and 175lbs in size 12/14. Now you and I both know that those four pounds did not take me from an 8 to a 14, but what did was my muscle/fat ratio!  Fat takes up A LOT more space than muscle, right!

this is pretty much what was happening to my thighs and tummy as I went from an 8 to a 14. 

So, fact is...5lbs is 5lbs BUT the feeling I have with each of those 5lbs is COMPLETELY different! Completely.  This why I love eating clean and exercising.  I really do feel so much more confident and in control of my life -- even more how I am fueling my body throughout the days, weeks, and for the rest of my (what I want to be long) life.  

It is SOO easy to let the scale rule your life, and I understand how motivating it is to see those number drop...just don't forget about all the other measurements you can use as motivation! When the scale isn't moving check your measurements, I bet you'll find inches lost! Don't forget your fat percentage too!  We have several solid measurements that we can use and when one doesn't reflect our hard work we can count on one of the other ones!! And if you find nothing is budging...switch up the workout (or food)!! 

Which is exactly what I need(ed) to do-switch.it.up! 

1. I am on a mission to keep my diet tight and CLEAN.  I have been tight for 3weeks and feel great and have seen a loss on the scale. I haven't measured myself because I'm a dork, but I feel a huge difference in my tummy.  (I will post my measurements soon!)

• consistency is key and I need to see what true consistency will do for me at this stage. 

2. Switch up the workout! Every night at the gym I run, do the stair-master, and train either lower or upper. That has been it for a while now, prior to the past 3 weeks I was doing the same just not with a tight diet. It's time to shake things up-- I need change!! My muscles need a change. 

• try new things!

I am SO proud of myself! Last Sunday I started a new "Cardio Kickboxing" class... I loved it. I was totally awkward. Arms and legs were flying, booty was jiggling  and I was a hot sweaty mess...it was great. I had muscles in my legs that I have not had hurt in MONTHS no YEARS!! So, that is my new Sunday a.m. workout.  At least for now ;-) 

THEN, today I started a boot camp class. omg. SO wonderful, within ten minutes I had sweat dripping from the tip of my nose! The class was high intensity and fast moving, something I wouldn't do just myself in the gym. To make it even better the fellow women in the class are health-minded and very motivating! I lucked out!! My legs are pretty heavy and I am fatigued and loven it! What a nice break from my same ol' routine. 

this is what i needed.... 

oh and do you remember what I am doing tomorrow.... It's my first day with a trainer!!! EEK!!! I've expressed how I feel about that... :-) Here goes nothing. What do I have to lose? Fat? A little pride? Okay. I can deal with that. 

put your cape on and try something new...you may really surprise yourself! 

xo

In My Cooler

Today in my cooler: 

M1: Egg whites, Steel Cut Oats with Cinnamon! 

M2:  Strawberries, 1/2 Grapefruit w/ Clean Protein Bar (click here for recipe) 

M3: Spicy Chicken w/ Brussel Sprouts 

M4: Cottage Cheese w/ Cinnamon and an Apple 

M5: Chicken, Sweet Potato Fries w/ Green Beans

Picture not available- yet! :-) 

I am so sad that next week is May and I am not 'there' yet! You know I had some really major plans for myself in JANUARY! I am dying to be able to wear a two piece this summer.... I just have to remember every day every bite every workout counts! I didn't gain this weight overnight and I won't loose it overnight. This is a lifestyle--not a quick fix. 

Make it count! 

xo 

*Sorry for the sideways pictures... I don't know what the heck I'm doing wrong but I'll get them right soon enough! :-) 

Life Long Learner-Eat Clean 101

I was eager for the Eat Clean Diet, I thought I could lose weight and maybe learn how to be fit and healthy for the rest of my life. I needed to change my eating habits. As I dug into the pages of my band new book, Eat Clean Diet - Recharge,  I quickly learned what eating clean was really about. Eating Clean is so much more than just loosing weight, I was learning how to nourish and strengthen my body with high-quality foods. Clean foods give us energy, strong nails and hair, teeth and eyes, supports our metabolism, skin and brain. Why wouldn't I want all of this and even more I have two daughters whose bad or good eating habits are based on what I teach them. All of  a sudden the concept of eating clean grew into something much greater for my family and I. I started with small changes in our kitchen and before I knew it the cabinets were cleaned out and restocked with foods that I had confidence in. Shopping became easy..I avoided any foods packaged or boxed,  ingredients that I could not pronounce, and any thing processed and loaded with sugar.  I am still learning options and different substitutes -- this doesn't happen over night -- it's a lifestyle!

I recently learned that one of our favorite packaged 'clean' foods is really not clean at all.  I know, I just said packaged food...I am suppose to stir clear of ALL packaged foods, right?! Well, I felt this one company was a great cleaner cereal option for my girls. I could pronounce all of the ingredients and they take pride in serving organic and clean options. Well, I guess not... 

Sigh... Carcinogens!?! This is one ingredient I can clearly read and one ingredient  I WILL NOT feed my family.  But, it didn't say 'carcinogens' on the label... what other 'cleaner version' packages am I purchasing!?! So, that brings me back to Eating Clean 101...stay away from all packaged or boxed items. 

In the meantime, we still love to eat protein bars, granola bars, etc... So, I thought I'd share this awesome recipe found in the Recharge book. Enjoy-These are excellent bars! Here is a picture of the batch I made tonight! :-) 

xo

Sunday=Meal Prep

Sundays are my days to meal-prep for the week. I can cook a large amount of food  in a short amount of time and have three days worth of M2, M3, and M4 -- and sometimes M5.  Let the crock pot be your friend  -- I try to use it as least once or twice a week. I thought I would share some pics that I quickly snapped to give you some ideas.

Brussel Sprouts cut in half -- drizzle olive oil and stir. 

Chicken breast cubed-Here is the recipe:   Yummy! 

Sweet potatoes cut into fries 

top with olive oil, sea salt and pepper--stir

kepp in large plastic bag or container

bake on 425 for 30 minutes

Mondays Cooler: 

M1: Egg Whites, 1/2c Oatmeal

M2: Strawberries w/ cocoa almonds

M3: Flank Steak w/ green beans

M4: Cucumber, bell peppers with hummus 

M5: Salmon with Asparagus

(sorry for the sideways pic-I can't turn it for some reason)  

Meal-prep can make or break me. I am really rushed in the mornings and don't have time to put together my cooler in the a.m. so, doing this on Sunday saves me stress and I don't have to worry about succumbing to 'dirty' foods during the day.  When my weekends are crazy and I only have a short amount of time to prep I do a quick grab of the basics. I focus, 'Okay, I just need a complex carb with a protein at every meal and I need 5-6 small meals each day.' I can do that--even if  I am only able to prep for one or two days! :-) Don't forget the water baby!! 

I hope you had a great weekend- Monday is a new day, the start of a new week. I have some goals that I am aiming to achieve this week, keeping my diet tight is one of them...that is a very important goal. I can workout all day long, but if my diet is 'dirty' I won't see the results I am looking for. 

Consistency is KEY...KEEP GOING! 

About Today & Menu

Today was a good day. There was no schedule today and those are sometimes the best days.  I worked out, ate clean, cleaned my home, mowed the lawn and even got to read April's Oxygen Mag! I didn't even realize it, but now as I calmly sit and relax, today was a day of balance and connection. I was able to do what I needed and wanted for me--and that feels good.

My day started with:

M1: Egg Whites, Toast w/ Almond Butter

Black Coffee

Then I was off to the gym. Today I wanted to take my time at the gym and knew that I was going to be there for a while, so I knew to bring my snack (M2). I made myself a protein shake and added some 'good greens'.  When I was at the Arnold Sports Expo, we came across the 'good greens' table, sampled and learned about the benefits..thought I'd give it a try and I am so happy I purchased a bottle! I don't always get in my greens and all the vitamins I should, so this is perfect for me! 

After my cardio I drank my protein/good greens shake and ate 1/2 an apple. 

M3: Salad with my fave veggies and avocado. I am super picky with my dressing. I use to only eat Blue Cheese dressing by Maria's at 19grams of fat per tbs. Now I either make my own (I will post recipe in another blog) or use Bolthouse Farms Yogurt Dressing--SO good!

 I was really impressed and less than 4grams of sugar per serving! Good Stuff. 

M3: 1/2 Grapefruit with a handful of almonds. 

(there were more almonds on this plate prior to me taking the pic) :-) 

M5: Flank Steak, Green beans w/ 1/2c Brown Rice

Drank 160ounces of water

It was a good day! :-) 

xo <3 

What's in the Tummy

What I eat: 

M1: Egg Whites, Whole Wheat Toast, Almond Butter

Black Coffee 

M2: Apple with Almond Butter

M3: Grilled Chicken, 1/2c Brown Rice, Bell Peppers

M4: Strawberries w/ Almonds 

M5: Whole Wheat Wrap, 2.5oz of Tuna, Salsa and Romaine

4-5 of these a day! 120-160 ounces of water a day 

This is a Passion

Work bogs me down, consumes me and rules me just as it should. I care about my job and the work I put into means so much to me-- It is my job, I am fortunate to have it and I love my job.  There are points that have some serious deadlines and requires my full undivided attention. When it's all over I reflect and realize how much I enjoy the rush of the final days until the BIG deadline, though within that reflection I realize I completely throw all my personal fitness goals and beliefs out the window. My mission is to learn how to give my all to work and still stay strong with my passion for a fit-clean lifestyle.  My family is more than supportive and I have that balance down pat--of course there are hiccups along the way-- but we work them out and carry on.  When at work I can't just stop and say 'I need to workout' and leave...that wouldn't bode well to a room full of amazing volunteers! Nor would that make me feel like a strong team member.

My goals include owning a whole new physique, getting within the pages of Oxygen Magazine (I know I know sounds silly-but, hey that's me being real here), and inspiring others to capture the eat-clean lifestyle along the way! Those mentioned goals require A LOT more than just eating clean...they require hard bloodsweattearswork. Got that!?! I can't mess around. People mock or joke with me about my FB post, but this really does mean everything to me-- it consumes me!  All I think about is what to do in the gym, how to push harder, how to saturate myself in this industry and where this hard work can take me.

I have successfully kept 40lbs off for the past two years by maintaining an 'eat-clean' diet. I am tired of maintaining-I have proved that much to myself-I am ready for the next level. So, it's time get these goals in motion... Here is my plan: 

Keep my diet tight and clean- 100%

No alcohol

Leave it all in the gym

Log food and workouts

Stay in touch with my body & emotions

Balance

Enjoy myself

Sleep

Portion control

Try new things

On the note of trying new things.... I have never worked with a personal trainer, to be honest I am WAY afraid. Afraid? Why?...I don't know why. Well, maybe I do a little bit... I feel like working with a trainer leaves you very vulnerable and open to total scrutiny. I am so insecure and HATE being in the spotlight and vulnerable to judgment...you wouldn't think that with my Gemini 'tude, but it's true. SO, to stay true to my 'plan' I have reached out to a trainer, a friend who happens to be a trainer, WHICH IS EVEN WORSE!!! UH! Only my closest friends can judge me and this is me REALLY REALLY pushing myself out of my comfort zone. Sigh. This is part of the process -- getting uncomfortable so I can achieve my passion. GULP! 

I start May 1st with my trainer :-) I will, of course, keep you posted. To add to my discomfort I have joined a boot camp that is scheduled twice a week -- I have no idea what is in-store, but I am up for the challenge! :-) 

Do you have goals, goals that frighten you? Write them down and start achieving them! 

Have a great day.

xo

Friday Plan!

Hey Friends,

Today is my last day of Spring Break. It has been a good week, I've enjoyed being able to go to the gym in the morning and the flexibility to relax a bit more. Who doesn't love a Spring Break! Spring Break should be mandatory for all professions.

So, today is LEG day!! I love doing legs-I feel most strong on leg day and I get excited over the burning pain of squats, extensions and lifts.

Here is my plan for the gym:

I love strong legs. There is nothing like a pair of smooth cut up legs...on both men and women!  I have spent most of my adulthood avoiding  shorts-at all cost!-I hate my legs.  I have tons of cellulite and they are far from tight. I am my worse critic. I love other peoples legs--just not mine.  So when I am squatting and I catch a glimpse of my legs all pumped, I want to keep going and push harder... I want those nice legs! As far as getting rid of my cellulite; eating clean and working out are key. I have also read that drinking Apple Cider Vinegar and hot lemon water may contribute to rid cellulite and help with detox and circulation. I do both.  Again, consistency and patience are key!! 

In my "cooler":

M1: 6 egg whites, Ezekiel toast w/ almond butter and black coffee

M2: protein shake with berries and banana 

M3: 4oz grilled chicken, lettuce, avocado, tomato, on whole wheat thin-bun

M4: almonds (15-20), apple

M5: 5oz chicken, onions, mushrooms, cauliflower, peas 

I have learned so much about my relationship with food over the past two years (since eating clean). I have learned what foods are trigger foods for me ("trigger food": food that triggers cravings) and just how much of an emotional eater I am. Of course, I do my best eating when I am in my own controlled environment...I am easily influenced and alcohol throws it ALL out the window for me. So, I am still trying to get a better grasp of this and finding a balance between social and my 'controlled environment'. Finding this balance is harder than I'd like to admit, but I have to keep it real...this sucks.  Me. home.= controlled and clean. Me. out w/ friends = loose and full of excuses. I'll get it. I know I will. 

I really admire Nicole Wilkins 3x Ms. Figure Olympia. She does weekly videos answering 'our' questions, giving advise and offers support. This week, her video really spoke to me and reminded me why I and how I can really do this.  Check out her video HERE and be inspired...it is titled "Always Prepared to Eat Right". 

Here is one of my favorite pics of her. :-)  (look at those legs!)

Well, happy Friday!! I hope you and yours has a wonderful weekend. Cheers! 

xo 

Hi Friends,

Today I just wanted to share what's in my cooler and my plan for the gym today.

M1: 1/2c oats, 2tbs chopped almonds and drizzled with honey and cinnamon 

M2: 1 Apple with 1tbs of almond butter

M3: Green veggie salad topped with dry tuna

M4: Banana Protein Shake

M5:  Grilled Chicken with mixed veggies (cauliflower, mushrooms, onions, peas)

1 Gallon of water, 1c black coffee

Time to hit the gym! 

My goal is to lose 8-10% body fat and become overall stronger. Consistency is key!

Have a great day. xo

Let's Eat Clean!

Have you ever heard the saying 'Abs are made in the kitchen'?  Well, it's true. We can go to the gym all day long, but if we are stoppin' off for fast food or just mindlessly eating we'll never see the benefit of our workouts.  My first 40lbs came off just by eating clean(now my body needs to break this plateau so it's time to step it up with more gym and tighter eating.)  Here are the 'rules'...no matter where you are in your progress follow these eat clean principles. Doing this will boost your metabolism and you'll be a lot less likely to mindlessly eat and binge.

Here is an example of a typical day for me: 

M1(7:30a.m.): 1/2c Oats (not instant), 4-6 egg whites

M2(10:30a.m.): Small handful of  raw almonds, apple

M3(12:30p.m.): 5oz chicken, 1/2c brown rice, green beans

M4(3:30p.m.): grapefruit, 2.5oz of tuna

M5(5:30/6:00): Salmon, asparagus

Water: 1gallon - up to 168oz

Coffee: 1c in the a.m. Black

Over the past two years I have successfully maintained my 40lb weight loss by eating clean all while still having a very active social life. I still have my cheat meals, nights out drinking, unstructured vacations, etc.. I am happy that I have been able to maintain my weight, but I don't want to stay here--I really want/need to lose another 20+lbs and build muscle. So, in order for me to do this--break this maintenance stage--I need to really stay consistent with a tighter diet and workout, which has been my biggest struggle. I hope to be able to post photos and offer more detail about my food and workouts... This blog is helping me stay accountable and focused. :-) 

So, the number on the scale has stayed between 171-178lb over the past two years, but, relying only on the scale as my form of measurement hasn't offered a true measurement of where I really am. When my workouts are ON my body really tightens up and I can fit in a size 8, but when my workouts are off my 8's don't fit so much and I find myself in 10's and 12's ALL while staying between that weight range---crazy right!!! Right. This has been SO discouraging over the past two years-SO- It's time to focus on other measurements.  Like my fat percentage. 

SO, I got myself one of these! A Caliper. The 'Skin Fold Caliper Test', this is a pretty reliable test. SO cheap and SO simple. You can get them at most sporting good places-- I purchased mine on amazon.com. Okay, my BF is 29.% too high for this girl!! Instead of praying to the scale every morning for it to budge I will now use my caliper, measuring tape and clothes to judge my progress.

Finally, I wanted to share what I am doing in the gym. Jamie Eason and bodybuilding.com have created a great 12wk plan, see here: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/jamie-eason-livefit-trainer.html I plan to use a variation of this, while bumping up cardio. 

Thanks for listening-I just wanted to quickly get down what I have been up to over the past three days.... better detail to come!! 

xo

Where Have I Been!?!

It has been so long since my last post that I almost forgot my password to log-in. That's not a good sign.

Between over-time at work, family, a crazed calendar, sickness, etc... I have been MIA. What a shame, MIA on my own booty. Well, that's no good-we all know that! I think I have posted something about "balance" before--I should re-read that! :-) Life swallows you up if you don't pay attention..and if you are not paying attention to yourself you will lose yourself. Kinda like I have the past two months. Now, I am not out of control or have a weight gain to speak of, BUT I do have a muscle loss to mention. Yep, that easy. If you don't work it people you lose it!!! I am proof. I say it to myself and let me say it to you--consistency is key if you want to succeed at your weight loss/muscle gain goals. Consistency can only happen when you have balance...easier said than done when you have a zillion things flying at you. But, I know this is something that is completely doable, completely.

A group of dear friends and I recently went to the 2012 Arnold Sports Festival and there is no place that reminds me just how doable this is like the Arnold!! Going to each year reminds me that every one is out there working their butts off, pushing through their own personal challenges and are getting things done! No excuses.

Tosca Reno is ALL about support and keeping it real with her fans! 

She is someone who started a fitness journey, worked hard and soared! www.eatcleandiet.com

NLC with Tosca!! 

NLC=a group of woman who unconditionally support and offer encouragement to one another.  

The Arnold Sports Festival is such an inspirational pool of health and fitness--no matter your sport, it is at ASF! I hope you can make it one year!

I have recently started a 12wk plan and can't wait to share it with you! I am looking for this blog to keep me accountable, so, I plan to post daily even if it is just 'whats in my cooler'.

Thanks for listening and support!! Spring is here and I have bikini on my mind!

xo

Learning to Say NO

An inspirational friend recently said, "every time you say no to someone/something, you are saying yes to you". WOW. That totally rocked my world. I had never thought of it like that. So, every time I say no to something I am saying yes to me. It has worked -- I've tested it. :) I was offered a cupcake and I said "no" and said "yes" to my goals, my dedication, my promise to myself and me.With this new way of thinking, I have since become smarter with my time. My family and I travel a lot to see family and I am learning how important it is to really look at my calendar before shouting yes yes I'll do it. I work full-time, have two children, a husband, pets, a home to clean and me to take care of. I can't do it all -- well, I can-- I just would be put on the back burner if I chose to do it all. It is all about balance and I have to take that seriously. Some may think of it as being selfish, it's not, it's being smart so we can take care of ourselves AND play the dozen other roles we are in our lives. Speaking of roles, being a role-model to my children is one of the most important roles I play. And it is very important to me to teach them what it looks like and what it means to take care of yourself.

You can't change bad habits and reach your goals without taking time for yourself. Each of us are so important to so many people and at the end of the day if we don't take some time for ourselves there will be nothing left to offer. I believe we teach people how to treat us. Teach them that it is important to you to take care of yourself. They will love and respect you for it.

Support

Support: To bear or hold up.

Two years ago, at the start of my journey, I would of defined support as "when your friends and family offer encouragement and help". Today, my definition is more like the Websters definition; to bear or hold up. To hold myself up and bear my own weight of responsibility. Only I can give myself the support that I really need to get to the next level. Support has to come from deep within myself to believe that I can go further - that I can achieve my goals. Support starts and ends with me.

Support from friends and family is very important and please do not think that I am saying that we don't need it, because I do think as humans we do depend on it. BUT, their support is not what carries me to my goals.  If I want to achieve something I have to forge ahead, give it my all and stay focused until it is done! This journey has been emotional and if I allowed others views/opinions/emotions to cloud my vision I would be right where I started. I have to stay strong and focused so I can capture what lies within me-not anyone else but me! This is about staying true to me - I can't blame anyone for my failures and I need to remember that it is okay to pat myself on the back when I've done good.

I have been very very fortunate with encouraging friends and family and they have never snuffed  any of my fitness goals, trials or big dreams. They have been amazing cheerleaders! And to be quite honest they have offered the support that told me that "it is okay to give it your all and take care of yourself". "We like you when you are a better you." Their kind supportive ways helped me take this plunge and in a lot of ways gave me the courage to actually take this journey.  My husband, my best-friend, is constantly offering constructive criticism and I rely on it.Tonight as I left the house for the gym, I told him my plan to do my best and he said, "don't do your best...do better...because you can". He's right. I appreciated that reminder...I did better than my best. ;)

This post easily contradicts itself.  So let me sum it up by simply saying, don't completely rely on support of others, if you want to achieve something you have to hold yourself up - no one else can do this for you. If you want to be a better you it is up to you to take every single step to the top. Let your family and friends support be a booster  throughout your journey, but not your fuel.  It's amazing how strong you really are. Impress yourself today.

This is Part of the Process

"You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but if you take the time to water your grass it would be just as green"
 -Unknown

We all know it takes work to get what we want in our lives. Sure, there are short cuts...for me, it was diet pills, and I told you where that got me. It takes a disciplined mind to achieve goals. No matter our goals we need to embrace the discipline involved.  I am always looking for inspiration, direction and motivation through books, Facebook fan pages, videos, etc.. When I dive into these sources I quickly realize just how much these women (and men) work their butts off.  I admire their disciplined mind. Something that does not happen over night. 

After seeing my best friend run his first marathon, I knew this was something that I just had to do. In the Spring of 2011 I started training for what would be my first 1/2 and a full marathon. In the earlier stages of my training I would sob, absolutely sob as I ran.  My emotions would rush. I was afraid of of failure, I had fear of achieving the marathon, I was out of my "comfort" zone and had to find the strength to get out there and stay out there.  The emotions were SO powerful and came on so quick, I would "cry it out", and once I was done I felt stronger. I felt a sense of freedom. I chant; "this is part of the process". The pain, discomfort, fear, awkwardness was ALL PART OF THE PROCESS. It was (and still is) SO important that I experience this and I don't want to forget those pains. When I self-reflect I think of those pains and emotions and am quickly reminded that I do not want to go back there. I have been blind too long - I have ignored myself too long. That was my choice then and now it is my choice to pay attention - take the blinders off and change what I hate. 

Spring through Summer I trained very hard, gave it my all and my dedication was 100%. September I completed my first 1/2 and a knee injury and fear prevented me from completing my full. 

SAY IT OUT LOUD

At this point I was down 41lbs, my system was tip top clean and I had 100% motivation.  From March through June I made sure to surround myself with the perfect "clean" environment. By doing this, I had complete control of any possible temptation. How long could I control my surroundings?
Late July came and I was attending bar-b-ques, vacationing at the beach, and enjoyed refreshing cocktail after cocktail (after cocktail). I was having a blast. I just lost a bunch of weight, so I felt great and uhm' cocky. Yes, I felt like I just worked my ass off, so "why not treat myself".  Before I knew it I was 10lbs heavier and really felt awful. "How did this happen!" "Uh, I just don't get it!"
I had the rules down, but forgot how to use them in real life situations. I couldn't keep myself in a controlled environment for the rest of my life, nor did I want too! I am a very social person and love to be around friends and family. When we are all together we eat lots of yummy food and enjoy our favorite cocktails.  I want what they are all having. How am I going to do this!? No eat clean tool can stop me from wanting what everyone else is having. I never had to stop myself before.
Wait. I have goals. They all don't share my goals, nor do I expect them too, but I have something that I want to accomplish in my life. I really want to overcome these demons and me staying focused and true to ME is all that matters!  It took me several months of agonizing insecurities to realize why I wanted to stay true to my journey. I have the tools, now it is up to me.  December through March, I was continuously inspired by people who challenged themselves to be better and who worked hard to achieve their goals. These people are smart individuals. Smart individuals who believe in themselves to achieve their personal goals. I proved that I could follow a meal plan,  now I needed to prove (to myself) that I believed in my strength and my goals.
Through the Winter I lost those 10lbs, wrote out my goals and started  planning how to best reach them. My first goal was to take care of myself, to slow down and listen to my emotions. If that meant I needed to take baby steps and do this one day at a time then so be it.  I needed to be aware of my actions and be mindful - I had been mindless for so long, it was time to pay attention.

March 2011

Tosca Reno and I 

My "Eat Clean" Birthday!

I am a mother, wife, daughter and friend who was ashamed of who I was and potentially where I was going with my health. My house is clean, my girls are dressed and happy, my husband is happy and taken care of... Things are in order and look pretty good. Oh WAIT! Me. I forgot about me. Uh, I need to shower and do my hair and even worse find something to wear!!!! Panic. Nothing fits. I have no clothes. I wore these when I was pregnant. THIS was the hard part. Taking care of me.Why was this so hard . Over the years I had successfully kept myself so busy that I didn't have to pay attention to myself. I didn't have to address my addiction and chose to be blind to my viscous cycle. My emotions surged and I ate them back down to the depths of my soul.
I needed to heal. I deserved to take better care of myself. This is my life and it means something to me. It's time I appreciate it and grow.
March 22, 2010, my Eat Clean Birthday.  Weeks prior to this I read Oxygen, my Recharge book, took notes and read even more, I consumed everything "Eat Clean".  I talked about it with friends and my husband...it was all I could think about. I was anticipating a brand new chapter in my life, a journey that would require every bit of me!  Gulp! This was it, I picked up my tool bag and started my Eat Clean journey.
I started by cleaning out my kitchen. I threw out syrup, peanut butter, butter, soda, juice, anything processed, packaged, white breads(starches) and "instant".  Anything and everything that was loaded with sugar, had a list of ingredients that I could barely read and anything that would get in my way during this journey.  My grocery list was very intentional and true to every rule in Tosca Reno's book, Recharged.  I won't lie, my first time shopping was intimidating and overwhelming. I will never forget when one of my dearest friends shopped with me.We read label after label and discovered many fabulous foods! Her support was priceless. (Thank You!)
March 22 I logged my weight; 212.6lbs. I forged ahead, kept clean(that means NO alcohol too), and Spin class was my once a week workout. By July 1, I was 171.2lbs! I had officially lost 41.4lbs in 3 months. This felt good and, imagine, it was just the beginning of my journey!

A Little History:

I have been overweight most of my life, though it didn't always bother me. Of course there were lots of very uncomfortable moments that I will never forget. Moments that I still think about from time to time, especially when I self-reflect. From fifth grade through college my weight was a roller coaster. My heaviest, during this time, was 220lbs (give or take a few). That was a blur. I am an emotional eater...danger! That means I eat when I am happy, sad, mad, bored...you name it. Food is my fix. My cigarette, my drink....my drug. How the hell does one overcome an addiction when the drug of their choice is everywhere!? Well, I am still figuring it out and my goal is capture this addiction and bury it.

My dieting started when I was in my late teens. My first "diet" was genius! Ready for it...eat every few days. Yeah, that lasted...only a few days! Then came a long list of silly eating regimens, quick fixes.. nothing that really taught me how to fuel my body or how to compliment my metabolism. In my early 20's I hired a trainer, I was just over 200lbs, and he kicked my ass. I believe this was the first time I felt the rush of love for weight training (to bad it didn't last). While working with him I lost 36lbs in 6wks and was SO high on life. I gained it all back within months. I didn't get it, I use to think, "Maybe I am suppose to be this size or maybe my body can't be thin." I was 26 years old, had two young daughters and I was hating the thought of being a fat mom. I really had to do something at that point. SO, I ordered Phentermine and quickly became addicted to it. Within three months I lost 60lbs. Even if I tried to eat, I would throw it up... my body couldn't eat.  After taking Phentermine for two years, I was losing my hair, my skin was dry and unhealthy and I had rage...bad rage. Mmm, this totally defeated my purpose of motherhood! Yes, I was not a "fat mom", I believe, I was something worse....not me. I surrendered the pills and just tried my best not to get back up to 200lbs!
By the time I was 32 I was 212lbs. This is when I found a women's magazine called Oxygen. I was very interested in the fitness models, they were real women who displayed heath, strength, and beauty. The stories in the magazine spoke to me and I felt surprisingly comfortable. For once, I was not intimidated by the pages of a magazine. The more I read, the more I wanted to adopt this lifestyle and achieve new found goals. I learned a new way to fuel my body and felt promise for a healthy lifestyle. Within the pages of Oxygen I was immediately introduced to Tosca Reno. Tosca Reno is a bestselling author, motivational speaker and someone who can relate to me and thousands of other women! Through her own trials she discovered eating clean and the benefits of the lifestyle. I am not saying she was the first to discover what it is to eat clean, I am saying that she is one person who put it down on paper- bound it and started a movement! It changed her life and she wanted other women to know about it, live it and believe it like she did and does!  "The Eat Clean Diet".